Family is everything to people in the South. Where I grew up, everyone was kin to everyone
in some way or other. All those “once
removed” and “twice removed” references when referring to a kinship was, and
is, common place, and we grew up trying to understand what it all meant. I grew up knowing that there wasn’t a single
boy at my church that I could go out with when I got old enough because, likely
as not, I was kin to them in some way or other.
Ours was a little country church, and back in those days it was odd for
children to move very far from the old home place when they grew up, so
everyone was kin to everyone else within the church community.
Life isn’t just about family in the South, though. It’s an accepted (and somewhat expected) fact
that neighbors help neighbors. I was
reminded of this the other day when a neighbor accidentally got too close to the
bank of a pond and got his tractor stuck.
It took the better part of the day, but one after another of the
neighbors (that also had tractors) heard about it and brought their machinery
over to see if they could pull him out.
By sunset, he was out, and as I watched, it made a special part of me
glow inside to see that part of “how
things used to be” is still alive and well in our neck of the woods. It restores faith in humanity as a whole to
know that there are some communities still around that go out of their way to
help a neighbor in need.
Community is a big part of things around here, too. Communities out here in the country tend to
be centered around a church of one faith or another, and the people that go
there, of course. If someone is in need
in any way, the community gets together and does what they can to help
out. Death in the family? Everyone cooks a casserole or some fried
chicken, and a cake or pie, and takes it over for the family to have while they
are busy making funeral arrangements, dealing with relatives from out of town,
and the like. Sick and laid up? Cards will start pouring in before long, the
pastor will come for a visit, and a gift basket will be made up by the ladies
at church. Exorbitant medical bills? The community will get together and have a
barbeque benefit. Food will be donated,
sometimes even a bluegrass band will play old hymns, and the whole community
will come together to pay for their supper (to raise money), visit for a spell,
enjoy the music, and end up helping out the person in need.
I’ve always loved that about this community,
but it wasn’t until later in life that I found out it was a Southern thing and
not just unique to the community I grew up in, and that lots of communities in
the South did the same sort of thing.
It’s almost like the ripples on a pond when you plunk in a
rock… the family is the center… solid and supportive and protective. Then comes relatives of all sorts, cousins,
aunts, uncles, third cousins twice removed, all those people. All supporting one another, making sure
everyone gets the help and advice and support they need (relatives are always
ready with advice). Then there’s the
community… supportive, checking to make sure you’re ok… somewhat nosey, sure,
but it’s always with the best of intentions… they just want to make sure you’re
ok. Like ripples on a pond, every moving
outward… you’ll see the same friendliness and willingness to help out even when
you go into town for shopping, or come to a four-way stop sign, or visit folks
in another county. It’s just the
Southern way.
When we say “Ya’ll
come back now, ya hear?” we actually mean it. We want you to come back, if you want to. We want you to sit a spell and talk. We want to find out how you are, and whether
there’s something we can help you with (or if you happen to need advice, hehe).
We’ll listen while you tell us about
your day, and “hmm” and nod at the right times, and offer you another glass of
sweet tea. We care!
So while the world seemingly goes off the rails, I am
reassured as I look around this small country community at the people still
going out of their way to lend a helping hand, at the benefits to help someone
in the community who is very sick and has mounting medical bills, at the
neighbor with the tractor stuck and other neighbors bringing their equipment
over on a Sunday afternoon just to help out, no pay, no reward, just lending a
helping hand. I’m reassured that it’s
not the entire world that’s going crazy, just part of it. I’m comforted to know that there are people
where I live that care… that truly care, and will go out of their way to help
or listen or just send a card (yes, by mail, with a stamp and everything).
Too often we just want to look the other way when someone is
in need. Too often we want to look down
our noses at the bad things on the news each evening, saying “never me”, “never
here”. Too often we become hard and
callous to the horror in the world today.
It’s hard not to when the reality is so harsh, so horrible, so
unbelievable… so filled with spite and venom, backbiting and hate.
Come and spend some time with us
here in the country. We’ll show you how folks
are supposed to treat other folks… not because we’re somehow better than you,
or anybody else for that matter… but just because that’s our very nature. It’s how things have always been around here,
and likely always will be, I guess… at least for awhile longer. It’s as ingrained in us as our Southern accent.
Ya’ll come back now, ya hear?!?
Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped in the water,
the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects.
~ Dalai Lama ~
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